Brother Rugby pros Danny & Luke tackle taboos
Date: Sunday 16 Jul 2017
It's fair to say that Luke Ambler and his fantastic ANDYSMANCLUB was a true inspiration, along with the Calm Zone for Brothers in Arms, here along with Danny Sculthorpe they discuss setting an example to the rest of the sports world on how to support players’ emotional well being. Together the two retired Rugby pro's players – the biggest hitters in grassroots campaigning – talk about their own experiences.
''The biggest reason I’m still here is definitely my family and their incredible understanding and support. Talking, talking and talking was so vital to me''.
Last year, after injury took him out of Rugby League, Danny Sculthorpe lost his job, his house and had thoughts of suicide. One conversation with this family turned things around. He’s now heavy involved with campaigning for State Of Mind, a charity promoting sport and mental well being. He gives inspiring talks in schools and clubs around the country.
Luke: What would you say the trigger was for you in becoming suicidal?
Danny: Constant unbearable pain, I couldn’t move about after injury, which made me feel a burden to my family. It lowered my self-esteem. My ability to support them was taken away and I felt a future career with earning power was gone. I lost all hope and couldn’t get involved with family activities or do the usual day-to-day things. A big thing for me was that I couldn’t exercise.
Luke: What was the key in helping you move forward and still being with us today?
Danny: The biggest reason I’m still here is definitely my family and their incredible understanding and support. Talking, talking and talking was so vital to me. Whether a chat with my parents, my wife, a brother or mate, or with a counsellor. Head Of Welfare at the Rugby Football League was a great support, organising my counselling and offering me roles within the sport made a huge difference. I also had a close relationship with my GP who described anti-depressant medication, which really helped me.
''At one time Piers Morgan’s comments about ‘manning up’ would’ve been extremely damaging but the response he received was great. People stuck into him''.
Ex-pro Luke is the main man behind last year’s massive #ItsOkToTalk suicide awareness campaign. He lost his brother-in-law Andy to suicide in 2016, motivating him to set up a group talking session for men, #ANDYSMANCLUB. It’s grown so quickly within a year that the government nodded to it alongside State Of Mind as part of its official suicide-prevention strategy.
Danny: How is your own mental health since you released the pressure of being a professional sportsman?
Luke: It’s definitely improved. I know it’s the opposite for many. I have a speaking and emotional wellbeing business for 5 years now and I found myself wanting to focus more on that. The explosion of #ANDYSMANCLUB combined with a growing business and family made it all hard to balance. Taking the plunge to quit professional rugby was a big decision. I gave up all guaranteed income, but it’s worked because I believed in it and I have a wonderful partner, Lisa Roberts, who supports me and allows me to live my dream. I think when anyone feels or finds their purpose it makes them happier. I would encourage anyone reading this to take a risk and chase your dreams. So in brief, yes, much happier.
Danny: What are your biggest antidepressants?
Luke: I would say talking and music. I use #ANDYSMANCLUB myself. When I was struggling with pay cuts and a few other issues at my rugby club earlier in the year, the club really helped me. It gave me a place to offload in a non-judgemental environment and even now I use it every week as it’s good to just talk and meet new people. Music is always good too as it guides you through emotions from pumped up, to happy, to relaxed, even just quieting the mind.
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